Marriage & Family

The Dangers of Following Your Passion
By Taka Sande
We have spoken many times about following your passion and how it is the best direction. Today we will look at the down side of following your passion, and the risks that you face when you choose to follow your heart. Following your passion is exciting and it is fulfilling. However if you look closely, you will find that people who followed their passion are not as happy as you would expect them to be. Because life is not all about following you passion. Your life is bigger than your passion or your dream.
Here are a few things to look out for, and perhaps the disadvantages of following your passion. These are the things that will make you reconsider admiring those who are following their passions. These are the things that should make you think again when an opportunity to follow your passion present itself.
Abandoning Common Sense. One thing I have discovered in life is that ‘common sense is supreme‘, and that common sense is the basic foundation of wisdom. Nothing beats common sense. Passion is like a burning fire. It can burn you or others around you. It is so powerful that it can take you out of your senses.
It’s very easy to lose money or time in something that you are passionate about without realising it. Actually you will find yourself defending your actions although they seem unreasonable to everyone else. Your actions can be a hobby or a project. To avoid getting into this pitfall bounce your ideas with your mentors or advisers. Get a second opinion from a trusted person.
Your Heart is a Bad Moral Compass. It’s very difficult to accept this but it is true. You heart can get lost, so why should you follow it? Following your passion makes you the Judge, the Jury, the Accused and the Defendant. That’s why following your passion is fun.
On the other hand the Bible says that ‘the human heart is the most deceitful of all things.’ So instead choose to lead your heart. You have to control your passion and direct it where you want it to go. Remember that even serial killers are following their passions. There is time to follow your passion and there is a time to direct your passion. Successful people know what to do, and when.
Following Your Passion Does Not Lead To Success or Wealth. It is true that most wealthy people followed their passions and dreams, but it is not true that if you follow your passion you will automatically get wealth. What makes the difference is how you follow your passion. You do not want to be a fool following his passion, because the passions of a fool lead to destruction.
If you look closely, in most cases following your passion leads you away from success because you will not be driven by reward. Following your passion leads only to inner fulfilment. I believe it is controlling or leading people driven by passion that perhaps leads to wealth.
Passion Does Not Guarantee Food On Your Table. Think of it, our passions in most cases do not generate income. Most of people’s passions do not provide the essential services that people want. It is exciting to go and study a fancy degree that you are passionate about. It is another thing to come back years later and make a decent living out of that degree.
‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’ simply put it as follows, put your basic needs first. If your passion does not address your basic needs, think again, and make your choices wisely. First put food on your table than follow your dreams. If you can make a living on your passion, then that is wonderful. Remember that you do not die if you do not follow your passion, but you can die if your basic needs are not meet.
Passion Has its Place in Life. There is a reason why we have passion. There is a reason why we have dreams. Dreams so big that they won’t be achieved in our life time. Do not be blind to reason. We often hear people saying ‘Because I am following my passion, I am going to be rich.’ Turning your passion into income generation is a different ball game. It takes more than passion. It takes wisdom.
Please note that being passionate at something does not make you an expert at it. Have you not yet seen a sloppy, incompetent passionate person? I have seen many of them. If you have a passion or a dream that you want to reach, get into training and development. Otherwise one day the frustration of failure will put your fire out. It will hurt you.
Your Passion is Like a Horse. You have to tame it before your ride it. Otherwise if not controlled, it will be dangerous to you and those around you. A wise person is one who has learnt when to follow his heart and also when to lead his heart. It is the one who can direct his passion to specific areas to create the desired impact. This is a higher level of operation.
Where You Are in The Chain Matters. Often it is the passionate scientists in the laboratory, running tests and mixing the stuff, day and night, in the process losing his family and friends. They are seldom recognised. It is the owner of the venture or sponsor who gets the attention and recognition.
Passion is Like Love. Falling in love is wonderful but it may not last for a long time. Just like love people usually fall out of their passion after a few years. On the other hand it is possible to fall in love in an immoral relationship. If you do not follow certain orders, your passion can destroy your family, your loved ones and even yourself. Your passion can end in heartbreak.
Many people come back to their senses after falling out of passion to discover that it was all just a pipe dream, a childhood fantasy.
Finally, your passion may not produce results today, but two or five years from today the results could be seen. Your passion may not produce results in your town, but in the next city, next country or next continent. The results can be overwhelming. The bottom line is to apply wisdom to your passion.

The Hardest Truth I had To Accept
By Taka Sande

Life is unpredictable. Our attitude is all that matters. Not everyone you meet is going to like you.
The better you work, the more work you get. Nothing is perfect, except God. Get used to it.
If you are going through hell, then keep going. Appearances matter. Your impression matters.
When nothing is certain, everything is possible. Sometimes your best still isn’t good enough.
You can only help people who want to be helped. Appreciate and respect the differences in others.

Only you control your destiny. Take charge of your life. Listen before speaking and listen more than you speak. You can’t predict the future, so why think that you can. Don’t waste your energy on negative people or situations. To people, effort doesn’t count. It’s the results that matters. You won’t please everyone, don’t worry about those you don’t. Everything is temporary. The only thing that is permanent is change. The only excuses with the power to hold us back are the ones we give ourselves.

The Miserable Prison of A Judgemental Attitude
By Taka Sande
Google defines offense as; annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself. It also means resentment or an insult. In many cases, an offended person may not be aware that s/he is offended.
Offense is caused by hurt. Mostly when our level of expectation is not met, and we get disappointed. In Luke 17:1 Jesus said to his disciples, ‘It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!’
On the other hand people holding an offense can easily be offended by someone doing good. Do you get offended when someone say ‘I just bought a Mercedes Benz ’ or when you see a friend with a very happy family (when yours is not doing well at the moment). Instead reply and say ‘I am happy I know where to ask for advice when I am buying my house.’ When it seems others are advancing ahead of you, this is not the time to get offended, but to get connected with them in humility in order to learn how they are doing it. If your methods are not working dump them, and change for better. It is better to be humble and succeed than to feed your pride into failure.
Being Judgmental
The Google definition is; having or displaying an overly critical point of view, that is, critical, condemnatory, negative or disapproving. Offended people tend to be judgemental.
We are quick to judge the sinners. In life we are quick to judge. We do not wait to get the full story. In most instances the people we judge are just troubled souls, seeking salvation, love and grace. You do not know how they grew up and what they have been through. If we were to put you in their shoes you won’t like it, even for a day. Some have been let down, cheated, abused and hurt by the seeming good guys. Our role is not to bring the final sentence on them but to help them get better. To facilitate their next step by our few acts of grace and mercy. To help then unwind themselves from the effects of their past. To show them that they can make it!
In Church
What would you do if your troubled family member gets saved in a church you do not like and becomes a dedicated member of that church? Tough indeed, isn’t it? We are quick to judge other churches and their leaders without considering how many people’s lives that have been changed for good in that church. We were brought in a tradition that our church is good, and the others are bad. Today I want to challenge you to see other churches differently, as good as your church, by first considering the struggling people who have been transformed.
You might be saying, ‘but people who go to that church keep sinning and even their leaders.’ Well, are all the people in your church holy and do not sin. Are your leaders perfect? Are you sinless? Show me a perfect church. We all need the grace of God.

When Opportunity Knocks
By Taka Sande
Have you ever seen people who get one opportunity after another? And it seems everything they do succeeds. On the other have you have seen people who also get opportunities frequently but each time nothing materialises.
There are many types of opportunities and they come to people at different times in life. It is true that 'time and chance happen to all'.
Some opportunities are small and lead to bigger ones, and others are just small. Other opportunities are huge and can produce overwhelming effects. Yet some just look big but are actually small.
Window of opportunities open for different durations, hence some opportunities open for a split second and then close indefinitely. Others remain open for months or even years. Some opportunities are recurrent, and keep coming again and again. Some opportunities can come back but they will be a bit different.
Opportunities are person specific. This mean that what is an opportunity to you may not be an opportunity to the next person, because we are all different. We have different perceptions, different temperaments, different skills and gifting and our current environments are different.
Now, many opportunities got missed for many reasons. At times you are busy, at times you cannot see them, at times you think the window of opportunity will remain open until it’s too late. You cannot see some opportunities because you expect them to come in a specific form. That’s why it is said ‘Sometimes we are limited more by attitude than by opportunities.’
Many people have squandered opportunities and are now crying for another chance. When the opportunity comes again some can regain and even do better. On the other hand some will still miss it.
It is a true statement that ‘Opportunities favours the prepared.’ When preparing for an opportunity;

Get the right mindset and attitude; renew your mind and think out of the box. ‘Get rid of the box altogether,’ said one of my friends. The mindset makes you identify an opportunity. A bad attitude or mindset creates a blind spot that hides the opportunity.
Get the skills and knowledge. Improve yourself. It positions you above others and makes you ready to receive. It also makes you visible in the realm of that opportunity, for example if you are a qualified doctor you will be visible in the medical field, and not in the accounting field
Get the right associations and avoid offending people. You will need them one day. Join professional bodies and institutions that are the custodians of the opportunities that you want.
Get the resources ready. It takes resources to execute an opportunity. Have your financial and non-financial resources ready. Avoid getting into debt or being involved in wrong deals that will bind you to negativity.

Finally, an ordinary person reacts. He waits for problems to come before he responds . He waits for the opportunity to knock at his door so that he can open. Now a person with a billionaire mindset is proactive. He analyse possible risk and put in place mitigation measures. He goes out and turns situations into opportunities. He is able to persuade an opportunity knocking next door to come through his door. He knows that by the time the opportunity knocks on your door it will probably too late.
Stop Debt Right There!
by Taka Sande
‘The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.’ Proverbs 22:7
The people who benefit more from your debt are the creditors and the financial institutions getting interest and the auctioneers who eventually liquidate your assets! Debt arises from expenses that are more than income, from business failure or disasters like illness, etc. If not dealt with properly, debt can suck your emotional energy, lead you into crime, cause relationship breakdown or even ends in suicide.
Debt forces one to serve money. And you cannot two masters. You can't serve both God and Mammon (Luke 16:13). The yoke of debt always is a burden to your spiritual life.The big question is; what do you do when you find yourself in heavy debt and struggling to make ends meet, bearing this enormous weight you were not designed to carry?
What do you do when your most valuable property is facing the auctioneers’ hammer? Do you borrow more to cover your current debts? What do you do when your friends are now refusing to lend you money because you do not repay them?
I have come across a number of dear friends being ravished by debt. This is causing financial crisis, trust issues and even relationships are being threatened.In response to this I have decided to put down few practical ideas on how to avoid, manage and eventually eradicate debt. I am not a certified debt counsellor, but this wisdom from my experiences and experiences of friends around me can help you turn around your ugly financial position.
Sort Out You Debts:The first thing to do is to know how much you owe. So, sort out and make a list of how much money you owe. Work out which are the most urgent debts for you to pay off and which are not. Plan to deal with the most urgent debts as a matter of priority. Make a budget and from it work out if you've got any money to pay your debts off and, if so, how much. Look at your options for dealing with the less urgent debts and work out how to pay them off.
Financial disciple:Most financial failures are caused by lack of financial discipline and irresponsible choices. And we can all agree that reversing the past behaviour is the best way of producing opposite results. If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting. If you keep doing what put you in this deep financial hole, you will only get deeper.
In order to enforce disciple, budgeting is needed. A budget helps to plan your expenses against your income. It also helps to track your finances. The important rule of budgeting is to make sure expenses are always less than income!
You can use the deference to pay off some of your debt or to save and invest wisely for the future.
Ways to Reduce Expenses:You have to down grade you lifestyle a bit and change the habits that put you in this situation. Decrease expenses. Find ways to cut costs.
Below are some of the ways you can reduce costs:

Review and change the schools which your family is attending to more affordable schools.
Cut your rent by reducing the number of rooms you occupy or even change the neighbourhood altogether.
If you care for the elderly relative look for the over 60 years olds benefits, like free medical treatment, etc and use them.
Cut your food expenses to basic food stuff. Cut restaurant visits, parties and on gifts.
Walk or cycle instead of using a bus or taxi! Use public transport instead of driving.
Downgrade your phone to a less fancy one for a while. You can consider having only one family phone or less. You can even change from contract to pre-paid payments system.
Reduce electricity and water consumption to minimum. Use prepaid electricity if possible.
Buy cheaper products! Do not ever go to expensive shops! Instead buy ‘china’ for a while!!
Do you household work yourself instead of hiring. Grow your own food, that is, fruits, crops and vegetables.
Reconsider the family members you are supporting. If they are adults find ways they can help or request to be excluded from supporting them so that you can focus on your debt reduction. If possible they can even go and stay with other relatives, to cut costs.
Look carefully at your spending and see if there is anything you're able to cut down on. For example, you could shop around for a cheaper gas or electricity or energy provider, or look at cheaper mortgage or insurance providers.
Use the savings that you have created to pay some of your debt.

Ways to Increase Income
Extra ordinary times calls for extra ordinary measures! Increase your income by any means necessary. If you spouse is not working, she has to get work. It can be a low paying job or an odd job, but extra money has no label, so get it. You have to find extra work! Work after hours or weekends. Find people who want help with odd jobs. “It’s pride that got you into this financial mess, so it humility that will get you out, not more pride!!!” Draw from you natural gifts, talents and skills and commercialise them. At times you have to learn new skills in order to earn extra cash.Use your hands and start a small business that does not need start-up money, using your skills.As I said before, grow crops and vegetables.If possible find work for the family members that you support.
Why do you drown yourself in debt keeping lazy adult people? They have to be responsible as well.Sell some of your possessions. First get rid of the junk and get cash in doing so. Evaluate your property and ask yourself ‘Do I really need to keep holding on to these items?’ Consider selling even the essential goods and plan to buy them later. Do not wait for the, messenger of court to come and do it for you! This is a time to be financially creative. If you find sustainable means of earning extra income, you would have found a way to your wealth! Use the extra income that you are getting to pay some of your debt.
To Conclude This... These lifestyle changes are painful and can be demanding. As you implement these changes, tell yourself, your family members and friends that you are doing this just for a short period, until your finances are back on feet. You will lose some friends, but it is for your good. You may lose your community status, but you will be gaining your financial status! You will be on your road to be a financial hero!